Sneak’s Noise Plans Twice as Many Shows in 2012 as in the Prior Two Years Combined

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NORTH JERSEY, December 31

Sneak's Noise BoysReflecting on a year’s relative lack of accomplishment, the members of former North Bergen-based band Sneak’s Noise vowed that changes are in order. Their first goal? Double the number of shows played in 2012 as were played in the past two years.

“As lofty as it sounds”, observes Gus Tobar, the band’s erstwhile bassist, “we are starting with what we believe to be our most manageable goal. In fact, I’m so certain we can meet this milestone that I am upping the ante; we will accomplish that feat by the middle of the new year.”

Time will tell whether the band can muster its collective will and make good on its promise.

North Jersey Man Sues Sneak’s Over Noise

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Mr. Sneak S. NoiseNORTH BERGEN, NJ – Narrowly averting a statute of limitations, a North Bergen man has filed a noise lawsuit against his erstwhile neighbors – New Jersey rockers Sneak’s Noise – despite the fact that the band hasn’t rehearsed next to his house since 1992.

“This has nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t had an income in 14 months”, notes the band’s former neighbor, Jacob Alvarez. “Those guys played at full volume, two to three nights a week, for five years. My attorney says my ears are still ringing.”

Amplifying Alvarez’s case is the allegation that Gunther “Beatle” Brown, owner of a Union City nightspot where Sneak’s Noise once regularly played, often had his fiancee inform the band members that they were “too loud”. A string of character witnesses and band members has been summoned to a hearing, which will determine whether Alvarez’s case is sound enough to go to trial.

Hurricane Threat Forces Sneak’s Noise to Cancel None of its Shows

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Sneak's Noise Plays Stingers in Wallington, NJHurricane Irene is expected to pound the Northeast this coming weekend, bringing 50 + mph winds and flooding rains. As a result, the band looked at its complete lack of bookings and decided to cancel all of them.

“You really can’t be too safe”, notes Ralph Carey. “What if some poor soul shows up sopping wet at a cold venue not expecting us to play – and there we are? We simply can’t risk that.”

Fans of the Noise are advised to stock up on batteries, duct tape, and Twizzlers – and to check this site for updates on the band’s comparative sparsity of focus and ambition.

Sneak’s Noise Attempts Record for Least Gigs Played

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This weekend, North Jersey-based rockers Sneak’s Noise will neglect to play a whopping ELEVEN gigs. You read that right. There will be eleven venues – possibly more if the weather cooperates – that will not feature the likes of Ralph Carey, Tony Felber, Rich Plumpton, or Mike Matera. Let’s see whether the band has the chutzpah to pull this off.